merry christmas!

Despite how miserable I've been feeling only being a week away from my due date and dilated 3 cm, I managed to maintain some Christmas spirit for the family! We had a great Christmas with Silas. It's been so much fun to watch him enjoy snow, and snowmen, lights and opening presents! I truly treasure these moments and love this age where he talks to you! Here are some highlights from our holiday...

Silas' Ear Surgery

I am thanking God for keeping my Silas safe. The last month has been interesting for SURE as Silas has had an ear infection since before Thanksgiving! It would NOT go away and we were on our third round of antibiotic Tuesday when the dr said we want him in to see a specialist tomorrow. So Wednesday we headed to the ENT specialist and things were not looking good. Silas failed his hearing test because his ear drums weren't vibrating at all. He had moderate to severe hearing loss due to all the infection. The specialist said we needed to get him in for emergency tubes the next day. WOW. The infection wasn't clearing up and that's what concerned them the most. They wanted to get him relief and get his ears draining. So Thursday we headed to Children's Hospital for his ear surgery to get his tubes in. We had a long wait because we were "fit in" in between already scheduled patients, but Silas did well and didn't seem to realize he hadn't eaten anything for breakfast or lunch. It was nerve-wrecking for me because he had to be put under. I cried a bit because he didn't like it and seeing him wrestle with the mask was a bit more than I could take. I tried to sing to him, but then I just started crying. The surgery itself went really quick - like 5 to 10 minutes quick! He cried a ton coming out of anesthesia, but a few hours later was doing better already. His ears have been draining and I am so relieved that this process happened so quickly. I can't imagine if we were trying to do this while carting around a newborn in icy January. I'm so glad my babe can hear well now and get some much needed relief! I am so thankful to God for guiding each step of the way.

Sophia's room

I am SO blessed that my mom has been able to help me get Sophia's room ready! I have been living in chaos with the house under construction for the last 5-6 months and FINALLY things are coming together and it feels SO good to have her room ready for her! I just had a dream last night that she was born and it's probably because I emotionally "feel ready" now that her room is done. Everything turned out so beautiful and I can't wait to peer in on her! Only 5 wks to go!

our growing boy

can't believe we are already a year later down the road in raising our son. It has truly gone by quick - too quick. Now I can't believe that I am 32 wks pregnant with our daughter! We had a great time this fall painting pumpkins (which he calls "balls") and watching Silas become aquainted with new things like apple picking. Enjoy the pictures!

heart and hands

This morning at church I was challenged to make sure that heart and hands line up. Transformation and life-change can't happen unless they do. God wants to continually transform us from the inside out. I was challenged to make sure that my heart and hands are lining up and that my outisde reflects the work Christ is doing on the inside. So glad for our guest speaker who reminded us of this truth from Matthew.

blessed

I feel so blessed for so many reasons...

• I have the hardest working husband ever!
• I'm the mom to two wonderful children! (This chica is a busy girl already!)
• I love, love, love my job!
• We have a wonderful church where we are excited to raise a family to know and love God and others.
• I have had 30 wonderful years and God is good. (I can't believe I'm 30 tomorrow!!)

big boy

Silas is really getting to be quite the little toddler. Thought I'd post a video because my BFF is DYING to see him! Sorry, Christy! This one's for you!

shadow

Today I saw our shaddow for the first time. Just me and Silas, walking hand in hand. It was as if I were looking into my future - not believing that my dreams have become true. It was so sweet, that I looked twice, just to savor the moment. I love that little boy so much.

meet the baby girl!!

a new little life

I feel so blessed by this new little life God has created inside of me. Psalms says "children are a reward from him!" I love that. It encourages me to know that God doesn't just give good gifts, but he also rewards - a totally different connotation.

Praying about the new changes we're about to face. Two babies under 2! Some people wonder if we're crazy! I promise we're not. Just living a full life! :)

Tomorrow is my sonogram and I can't wait to see our little baby on the big screen!

FIRST BIRTHDAY - Under the Sea!

What a bash Silas had today! We had all our friends and relatives over - 63 people in and out all day! Silas had a great time at his pool party and loved his balloons and octopus cake that Mimi made. (more pictures to come!)

Silas didn't know WHAT to do!! He doesn't get sweets often...

Mimi made a CUTE octopus cake!

Silas was soooo excited to get balloons for his party!

All together at the party!

Silas got a cell phone from his friend Eleena!

Mr. Tom (dad's employee) got Silas his first NY Yankees gear!!

Silas' favorite gift was a Veggie Tales cd!

Silas had some fun riding one of his outdoor toys that Grandpa Herb got him for Christmas.

4th of July

Well, what a Fourth we had. Silas got to play with his cousin Drew who is 6 mo older than he is and I got to see my seester! I'm sooo happy to have Nate and Andrea up from Virginia!! We've been able to hang out a TON and one of things we got to do was go to Niawanda Park in Tonawanda (whew - what Indian names!) to watch the fireworks.

Mommy and me at dinner with the family.

Getting a free ride from cousin Drew!

Waiting to watch fireworks...

Playing at Niawanda Park

happy father's day!

I am so blessed to be married to this incredible father!

summer is here!

I loooovveee my family! Scott has created a beautiful backyard for us again this year! Silas has been swimming twice now and he seems to like it. Although after the first few minutes, he usually turns serious. I have been having a GREAT weekend, just hanging out with Silas. I love that BOY! God has truly blessed us.

happy weekend!

I have been having such a great weekend! The weather has been beautiful, we've been accomplishing a lot, working outdoors and having tons of fun!

Last night, SURVIVOR officially started. That is what I call our backyard! I made TWO smores and ate them guilt-free! The summer is here! (almost)

And then this morning we went out to breakfast with our neighbors. Silas ate SO MUCH food! He ate 1 1/2 pancakes AND some of my ham and cheese omlette! He is a chow-horse!

Such a great weekend just hanging out with the family and working outdoors!

scenery

I have been going stir crazy at work today! Everyone's in meetings or keeping to themselves. Not a whole lot of activity going on....for me either. It's one of those days where I have everything done and I'm cleaning my desk, organizing things, stuff like that. The hours have felt like days. You'd think I was still a schoolgirl anticipating summer vacation! About three hours ago, I flipped and just HAD to get out. I had to change the scenery.

I walked to the post office to get some fresh air and exercise. I was surprised at how warm it was compared to the last few cold, rainy days we've had. I enjoyed the sights and sounds amusing my senses. I dropped my mail off and headed back down the block when I started thinking about the scenery in our lives. I was thinking about how the change of scenery does so much good for us. Helps us gain new perspective, helps us re-focus, re-group, helps distract us from other non-essential things. And I couldn't help but wonder if we truly value the times when God changes the scenery in our lives. Sometimes things hit us and we can't figure out why "life threw us a curve ball" or how something "dropped out of mid-air." I think God changes the scenery on us. I am challenged to have a new perspective on life. When changes come, they are not the changes themselves to be looked at, but rather the scenery that God is changing for us. He has suddenly turned our head to look at something new, maybe for the first time. Maybe he cares enough about us to not let us go stir crazy in our old habits! Maybe half the time he saves us from ourselves! Maybe he has a new lesson for us to learn that can only be learned through this change of scenery. That's something I don't want to miss out on!

Enjoy the view!

turn down the radio

After being gone to a conference in Atlanta with our staff leadership team, I was RELIEVED to see MY BABES! I really missed Silas. It was the first time I was away from him for more than one night. I was away three nights! When I went to pick him up I was just so thrilled! He seemed to react similarly to any other day I pick him up from my mom's: happy at first and then preoccupied a few minutes later. That was ok. I was just happy to hold him. As we drove, Silas' coos and "words" were so sweet to my ears. We usually blast the music, but I turned it down because I had missed his babbling sooo much. It was the sweetest thing to my ears!

american idol is killing me!!

I am sitting here in PAIN because this week is horrible. I haven't been this frustrated since season three when La Toya London was voted off prematurely! Jason Castro just sounds strange. Brook was weird, I just want this all to be over. We already know that Paula wants David Cook to win. Let's be done and put everyone out of their misery. David Archuleta is my favorite, and at this point, who cares! I should have started voting this season and I didn't.

I am in agony!

pictures

Hi folks!
Just wanted to share some pictures with you from this week!

This is what I found this week when I came home from work! Scott and Silas opened the POOL! This was the first time Silas had been outside to "play" and he loved it! (Silas and I rock on that swing a lot.)


Scott's turned 37 this week! Here is a picture from his birthday dinner with his dad and Mary.

Silas was sooo tired today that he fell asleep WHILE he was eating! This boy has fallen asleep in some crazy positions! I'm starting an album of JUST THAT!

gate

We have our baby gates up! They're special ones with a kitty pass-through so Samson get get to where he is going. Silas is growing and getting stronger and braver. He can now climb stairs!

When I am walking through the child-proof gates, I am reminded that Jesus said in John 10:9, "I am the gate." Yes, he is the gate to eternal life, but I once heard a sermon that expounded my thinking. Jesus serves as a gate in other areas of my life. He protects me...from getting into things I shouldn't and from people and things who may be dangerous to me from getting in! Because of the fall, women constantly struggle with a battle in their minds, endlessly trying to answer the life-long question, "Am I enough?" About two years ago, God took me through an amazing journey where he answered that question for me and spoke deep into my soul. He is now the gate to my mind. He protects my thoughts, hopes and fears. It's because of his gate that I have the freedom to trust him. I know he will protect me.

I don't see gates as inhibitors! Quite the contrary - I see them as freedom!
Not sure how Silas sees them!

spring

Spring is here! I am sooo excited! Today was beautiful out and I had to capture some of my bulbs that just came up! Silas loves things that are pretty and enjoys exploring them with his pointer finger or his pinchers. Daddy took these pictures of us enjoying the outdoors after church!

God's voice

I learned a lesson about God's voice...from my voice.

When I picked Silas up from my mom's on Tuesday evening, they were reading in the rocking chair. I thought I'd sneak up on them and see if they noticed I was peeking. I made some birdie sounds that I thought Silas would recognize because we do them at home. He didn't. I tried again to no avail. He just kept on reading. Then in a little voice I finally said," Helllloooo?" and he immediately dropped his book and searched to find me. I couldn't believe how Silas had distingued that ONE WORD! He knew me. He knew my voice.

Wow. Do I hear God's voice that clearly? Do I know him that well? That has been challenging me this week.

rich

We just started a new sermon series called "How to Be Rich." It has really caused me to readjust my thinking. Many of us have crossed that line of not rich to rich and not even realized it. Ever thought about how you fare compared to the rest of the world? Just the fact that we have a car sets us apart from most of the world. I think of how it sets us our family apart from many in Buffalo who walk or ride the metro, some of whom live in our neighborhood! And we have TWO cars! We have running water, a spare bedroom where nobody sleeps, mounds of clothes and shoes. We're rich. The problem is many times we don't feel rich and so we don't act rich.

Scott and I were discussing this last night (during our "reading party") and I thought it was an issue of stewardship and ownership. If we fully realized Who it's from, we would live differently. His perspective was its an issue of love. Who and what do we love? Basically we were saying the same thing. It came full circle for us last night because we had our accountant over to the house to do our taxes and things turned out much better than we anticipated. All night, we kept re-living Sunday's message because of the news we just found out. I shared with Scott that I have adopted a new mindset since the message and a few hours earlier when I went to Target, I had a different mindset. As I grabbed a cart, I couldn't believe I was rich enough to go there and basically buy whatever I needed. I felt like I was at Manda Hills, a place we visited in Lusaka, Zambia a few years ago. It was similar to a strip mall but was the wealthiest place in the capital city. Just as those people viewed that shopping area, I similarly viewed my experience.

I still can't believe the new reality. I am rich!

20 things about michelle

I was inspired by a friend who wrote 50 things about herself. I'm not sure how spiritual this process may be, save for the fact that it my help me know myself more fully by exposing and speaking the truth about my many nuances! These are in no particular order:

1. I hate to clean even more than I hate working out.
2. Even after three years of being home in Buffalo, I miss my girlfriends from my Bible study in KY so much it's crazy. I still feel the void.
3. My new kitchen methods have been going well and I have been cooking up a storm!
4. Scott picks up after me every day and it still drives him nuts after 8 years!
5. I love to sing more than I love anything (besides Scott and Silas).
6. My favorite hobby is shopping.
7. I love anything that looks like an accessory!
8. I am a sucker for all holidays and themes.
9. I loved the name Silas because he praised God duirng difficult circumstances in his life.
10. My shoe size is 9 1/2.
11. I am so sad that my parents are moving to VA.
12. I haven't kept up scrapbooking and Silas has no photo book.
13. Scott thinks I'm ADHD and I never intend on admitting to that!
14. Two ways I pamper myself are getting my nails done and drinking caramel macchiatos from Starbuck's.
15. I wish my sister lived closer.
16. I am a sucker for all reality shows!
17. I tape Rachael Ray and The View every day.
18. When I first met Scott I thought he looked like Antonio Banderas.
19. Scott and I were engaged at Heart Island of the Thousand Islands in upstate NY.
20. I am an ENFP on the Myers-Briggs personality temperament test.

Hope you had a good laugh!
Here's a free one: Scott just said he'd trade me the remote for the computer! GOTTA GO!

happy easter!

Silas had a fun Easter today! When we picked him up from King's World at church, the ladies said he had been playing the piano and dancing! That' s my boy! Grandma and Grandpa Patterson came over for Easter dinner and Silas opened his Easter basket! He looooved the stuffing! There was a stuffed tigger and some banana puffs inside!

crock pot

Whoever invented the crock pot is a genious! I can't believe dinner cooks itself! That is just an amazing conecpt to me! I was in awe when I got home yesterday to find dinner had cooked itself! We ate earlier than we have in weeks!

I have been on a mission to revolutionize my culinary self and trade my frozen pizza and hamburger helper for more refined fare. Are you ready: I am actually cooking with recipes this week! I can hardly believe it myself! Since Silas will be eating table food soon and since we are trying to eat healthier, I figured now is as good of time as any! I feel like this is one area that I can intentionally contribute to my household physically and spiritually as I minister to my family. If I treated my household like I ran a business I would be much more disciplined! (see March 5 post!)

So far I'm having a great week!

PS - It has been raining for two days! I'm so excited because if the sunshine isn't out to melt the snow, at least the rain will wash it away!

God is at work

I was challenged at staff meeting this morning and thought I would share some lessons I learned about how God works.

God is at work...
1. when he shows up and does great things, like miracles!
2. when he is operating behind the scenes, like Esther, Ezra, Nehemiah
3. when he is silent
4. when he gets in your face
5. when he teaches you to walk with him

He is beyond the bumps in the road that we have created and the conclusion of the study of our life's map and experiences is that he HAS been faithful! Sometimes we see him at work more clearly than other times.

poked

Our naptime Sunday afternoon was not successful...for ME! Silas seemed very tired and it was naptime, so I layed down with him in my bed, thinking he would fall asleep. Instead, he proceeded to investigate my face and poke all areas of interest: eyelashes, teeth, nostrils. Finally I was like "STOPPPPPPIITTTT" I couldn't take any more poking!

I was thinking about that later that day and wondered if I budge when God pokes me. Do I notice? And more importantly do I do anything about it?

I'm still thinking...

spring?

I am not convinced that spring is around the corner, nor that Easter is two weeks away. Look out my front door! We are in the middle of a storm in Buffalo. As much as I long for sandy beaches, we sure had fun in our cozy house today. Our family went to a movie and then had fun playing indoors. My hubby is the best. He would rather be with us than anywhere in the world!! We love when we have Fridays off together!! My family is such a blessing.

SIDE NOTES:

As you can see, Silas and Samson loooove each other. Silas had cozy time with daddy in front of the fireplace after taking his bath. Scott and I drank my free Guatemalan medium roast sample from Starbucks and sat in our rocking chairs. We're so old. BUT, as you can see the living room renovations ARE progressing. The fireplace is IN and our furniture arrived! Now we just need drywall and paint. and end tables. and lamps.

ministry

I was challenged today as I listened to the radio on my lunch break. The lady was reminding women how being a wife and a mother should be your primary ministry. I can honestly say that working for a church (as much as I love it!) can sometimes become my main focus because I'm technically "in" full-time ministry. It was a great reminder to me that my husband and son are my ministry and how much more time, attention, and priority I should put into that!! Ministry should always come before work!

dedication

Today was such a meaningful day for me in my spiritual journey. We participated in the parent-child dedication today our church, The Chapel at Elmwood. Here is a picture from the day. Silas was a ham and enjoyed "life" as usual, just laughing at whatever, playing with my necklace and bouncing like crazy. But more importantly, it solidified the purpose and desires of our hearts to acknowledge this gift from God and to publicly declare that we will raise him to know and love God. Having this child is more of an amazing experience than I ever dreamed! Each day I look at him, I realize more fully God's love for me. I am so blessed.

not me

Today is one of those days where I know nothing I do is going to come from me or my own strength. I am feeling anxious and overwhelmed! I think God has me in this spot to challenge me - to keep me looking at him for my focus and direction so that I can say "Not to [me], O Lord, not to [me], but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1

fireplace

I believe a sermonette is in here somewhere...
Some of you may know we are in the middle of remodeling our living room and one of the projects is switching the wood-burning stove out for a fireplace insert. This is very exciting for both Scott and me!

Scott has been asking for prayer about the install tomorrow because the two owners he is dealing with at the company have been confusing and difficult to work with. This is what he tells me: The father and son send different messages. The son says and promises certain things and the father says they can't be done. I thought this was very interesting.

I am so glad that our heavenly Father and his son, Jesus, don't send different messages! The whole story of the Bible is about God's love for us, so much so that he sent his son, Jesus to bring us back into relationship with him. He desires for us to be restored and whole. I am so glad that the Bible has ONE message and that it is one of hope for our daily lives.

choose your battles

Can I just say that I love dry cleaning! Not that I'm trying to get out of any chores.....

This has been one invention that has saved a battle in our marriage! I was reminded of this when I went to set out Scott's clothes Sunday morning before heading off to church ("work") early to set up. (Hey, it saves him five minutes!) I was so happy the pants were pressed and creased so nicely...the shirt was starched and wonderful and I didn't have to wrestle with it for one bit! I have never known how to get clothes to look like that...and I loooove clothes! Correction: I love shopping for clothes. Maybe this is why I never learned how to iron properly. Trust me, I try. I try to iron my own clothes and it looks like " I tried." I just don't remember my mom doing a lot of ironing while I was growing up.

Regardless, I can have a peaceful marriage for about $20/month and when mama's happy, everyone's happy! ( I wish it was this easy all the time! )

a great leader

I am reading from Nehemiah right now and am amazed at what a great leader he was. He was passionate, resourceful and most importantly he loved his people. He was so deeply saddened by the destruction of his city.

Some of you may know that I am on staff at a church plant downtown Buffalo. It has been an amazing journey since we started attending in September and then me joining the staff in November. God is at work in this city and it is so awesome to be a part of it!! I think about the love that our church has for our city, how even yesterday we were talking about parts of it that are in distress. There are parts of our city of Buffalo that are like third world countries. Pastor Jose's church doesn't have electricity or heat sometimes and its a struggle for them to pay the bill. There are people and families in our city that go without food. There is no doubt there is need all around us here. BUT God is at work!!! He is using us to help rebuild the city....to network and partner with what he is doing.

I am so excited because we are looking at a possible building for our church to gather in. We really want to be a beacon of light to this community. A safe place where people can see life change and transformation lived out on a daily basis. A place of hope and comfort and peace.

I keep thinking about Nehemiah and what lessons I can learn from this great leader. He had an insurmountable task ahead of him, but he also had the God of the universe on his side!

sense of humor

Well, God certainly has a sense of humor. He really got me this time! Yesterday Scott preached at a church in the small town of Belfast, NY. His accountability partner pastors two small churches in the Southerntier and was filling the pulpit because his wife just had their fifth baby - don't worry, I didn't drink any of their water!

In preparation, I was trying to be the good, encouraging wife and prod, "you're gonna do great, honey...God is gonna use you beyond yourself....yada yada" Well, between churches it became VERY stormy and when we arrived to the second church, the worship band and organist had cancelled!!

Now, keep in mind, I had already declined singing at Keith's churches because we were smack in the middle of a marriage conference at our church where I work, and I was SPENT!!

I felt so bad for the Belfast folk and I asked Keith, "Do you want me to go inside and see if I can come up with some songs quick?" He was like, "Oh, could you?"

Also keep in mind that I can probably count on one hand the times I have played while leading worship because it makes me sick!! This is where I give a SHOUT OUT to Debbie Branda, my childhood piano teacher - the theory she did manage to drill into my young brain paid off! I found some chord charts on stage from the band's previous week's set and a hymnal and I was good to go - felt like I could throw up, but I prayed like crazy and was saying, "Real funny, Lord. I can't believe you did this to me!" My own words came back to haunt me: "use me beyond myself..."

rewards

I just LOVE being a mom! I never knew being a mom was going to steal my heart as much as it has! I love the verse in Psalms 127:3 that says, "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him." I love it so much because most every mom (or dad!) would feel that their child is a gift. And I do believe that God give GOOD gifts. This verse says children are a REWARD from God. A reward has a totally different connotation! It encourages me, that even though my life has had it's shares of ups and downs, that I have been doing SOMETHING right if God chose to reward me. Silas is SUCH a beautiful reward. He makes me smile everyday and when I look at him I feel God's love for me. Silas often gets passed around at church and people always want to talk and interract with him. It is so much fun when Silas smiles at someone else and encourages their day. It makes me so glad to share him...to share my reward with others.

side note:

Oh my word - I had to post both of these pictures! I was just looking through some files and I came across this SONOGRAM from last January! Oh my word - it made me cry - MIRACLE!

he will make a way

Can I just say that God IS on our side, no matter how small! He made a way where I thought there was no way! Do you ever self-impose guilt like I do? I have been struggling ever since having baby Silas in June about getting to the gym, because after work, that is the LAST thing on my mind! I felt guilty for not going straight home to spend the last few hours of my day with him, but then I felt guilty for not going to the gym. It was a catch-22! I couldn't win!

Then, it hit me:
1. Change gyms so it is closer to work.
2. Go in the morning! I originally had the idea to go to the gym at lunchtime, BUT...even better, I found out the gym opens at 7:30 am and I don't have to be to work until 8:30 am!!

I have been LOVING going in the morning - and the best thing?! It doesn't hang over my head the rest of the day!

wonderful husband!

I was SOOOO excited to get my Valentine's Day present EARLY! Friday night Scott took me out to dinner and said we were going to get my Valentine's present afterwards because I had to be there with him to pick it out. I was so thrilled to find out we were going to the jewelery store to pick out this pave set pink Sapphire I had been hinting at (for Mother's Day). Most of you know I have a September birthday, so Sapphire is my birthstone and the (lab-generated, ugh) pink Sapphires are soooo beautiful!! I walked in and went right to them! They were sparkling sooo much and I couldn't breathe! I was so thrilled to leave with a beautiful ring from my wonderful hubby!

I am so thankful to God for giving me a great husband, and although we're not perfect, God has been blessing us as we put Him first in our marriage and family. I am so lucky and blessed!

out of place

Today I was reminded of how close to the East Side we really live. At Elmwood we talk a lot about minstering to our city, about reaching every man, woman and child with God's love and we frequently partner with organizations who are making a difference. I guess I can get kinda busy and God reminded me again today that he has us living in this place for a reason. Scott and I always wondered why we moved to the Buffalo/Cheektowaga border. I mean, the only thing separating us from the East Side is a HUMONGOUS cemetary. I AM IN a mission field. I know that, I just sometimes forget.

Well, I was invited to an event this afternoon where I felt so out of place. I traveled to the East Side for this women's event and felt the only things I had in common with these women was the fact that my nails were done and I had on big earrings. Didn't realize traveling to that part of the city would mean that my snow-covered, red-lined zebra flats would leave my feet a little wet. They asked me where my boots were. Guess I chose the wrong shoes today.

I have been on missions trips and in situations where you eat whatever is given to you, just to be gracious. Today felt like one of those times. I had a BIG plate of food - I mostly tried to load up with fruit - and wasn't hungry at all. I had just eaten six tacos. Homemade tacos at home are a weekly staple at our house. I can eat them like crazy! They were sure to point out that I didn't get such and such salad or shrimp or.... I felt like I was going to burst. All the while thinking, "I went to the gym for NOTHING today, since I'm eating all the calories I burned!"

It's been a funny day. But all that to say, in the midst of the drama and drive through the city, God allowed me time to pray for my city, and reminded me to take ownership in my circle of influence.

lysol

I'm sure you own a can, too. As I was listening to a speaker at a conference last night, I was reminded of this white can whose home is beneath my sink and some lessons I need to re-learn. I tend to be like the example she used: controlling. I think many of us female-type are. Ever since the garden of Eden, Eve (and every woman thereafter) has been continuing her legacy of controlling people, situations, things...the list could go on. We waltz around our homes and churches spraying our cans of Lysol, hoping to sanitize the world. We make list after list to make sure everything gets done in our way and in our time. And we even send God memos in order to check up on Him and how well (or not) he's accomplishing his tasks: "How's it coming with so-and-so? I told you I needed help with her" and "Did you fix his attitude yet?" or "How are you coming with that project? I needed that resolved by Friday." What Jackie Kendall reminded me of was that the issue of control ROBS YOUR JOY. It steals it right out from under you! We have to consistently (daily, minute-by-minute) put our faith and trust in our heavenly Father to work things out in his timing and according to his plans. His ways are higher than mine. He sees the whole picture and plan. I guess that gets me off the hook. After all, I've been known to be wrong on occasion!

espresso beans

I traded my coffee for espresso beans. Saturday I made some coffee at home, which I never do because I have never pretended I am a barista or even close to one! Which is why I go to Starbucks. The coffee turned out weak and I was disappointed. So I traded my coffee for espresso beans. My sister got me a big bag of Choxie chocolate-covered espresso beans for Christmas. Yum! So I was thinking, I traded my coffee - pretty low calorie - for chocolate covered espresso beans - high everything - calories, fat, caffeine - you name it. Hmm.

Was it worth the trade? I don't know, but I did it. I made the trade because I thought it would be better and it made me start thinking about other areas of my life. What else am I trading? Do I trade-in because I think one thing will be better than another or that I have a better answer or solution? What have I traded God for? Has he just quietly taken things I've handed Him because He's a nice guy and just not said anything? Have the trade-in's been worth it? I could totally be missing out on something and not even know it!

the best is yet to come

2007 marks the year I have accepted God's love for me even more. I'm not sure if it's becuase of the birth of our child, but as I reflect on 2007, I have a deeper relationship with Christ because of His love for me. Knowing he loves me unconditionally is amazing. Loving myself with that same unconditional love he has for me is a new step. I have seen so many women who are frazzled, overworked, exhausted and continually comparing themselves to the next gal...never content with who God's love allows them to be. God's love allows me to be complete. Who I am IS enough. There is nothing I can add or subtract to myself to make be better or worse in God's sight. It's an easy concept to say, but not such an easy concept to live. Because of who I am in his sight already makes me a 10! Women, claim it!

I can just imagine as God sees this space called "2008" on the timeline of infinity, he is thinking, "the best is yet to come!" I am so excited to see what he has in store for me for 2008. I was reminded Sunday that he is my biggest fan. Nobody supports me more. As I enter 2008 and all the unknowns of what raising a toddler son will hold, what challenges being a wife will bring, it is so thrilling to know I will succeed because I have the biggest cheering section in the world!